Tough Decisions

I have something to tell you all.
And its difficult.

I’m usually very light-hearted and humorous here and even when times are tough I throw a smile on my face and draw a funny picture in Paint that is horrendously bad.  But I never want to LIE to you. That’s just not what I’m about, and its certainly not what this blog is about. And its definitely not the message I want Live, Travel, Eat and Run to be or become.  So forgive me for the sombre note today’s post will strike.

I am not going to be running the WDW Half-Marathon, because I won’t be in Florida.

It took me a whole week to think about this. Fighting the cancellation deadline given by airlines and Walt Disney and trying to figure out costs was one challenge. The other was making sure I was cancelling the trip for the right reason.

One of my family members, the one who I hold most dear to my heart (second only to my Mother), is terminally ill.  She has been moved to palliative (or end-of-life) care and has told me three times now she is trying only to live until I get home on January 2nd.  She is fighting to hold on to be able to spend one more day with me.

She is ready to move on.

We have a special bond, this family member and I. She is a strong, independent, impenetrable force of nature. She moved her family from Revolutionary Hungary during a time of war at my age (25) with three children under the age of 5, in search of a better life.

Then she provided that life.  For her son (my Father) and daughters, and then consequently for myself, my brother, and my cousin.  She worked multiple jobs, learned a new language, and brought up amazing children who I am now lucky to call my Aunts and Father.

I want as much time with her as I can get. Being that I live a 5 hour flight away, and speaking on the phone is hard for her, this is way more difficult than it seems.

When I took the half marathon out of the picture, and thought only about one of  the relationships I value the most in the world versus a trip to Walt Disney, it was no contest.

You see, I wanted to make sure I wasn’t giving up on the half-marathon.  I wanted to make sure I wasn’t giving up on myself.  Because I’ve done that before.  I needed to take five days to really think about whether or not I’m not going for the right reasons.

In the end, I’ve made my decision, and I’m proud of the person I am. This is not a matter of bad training or quitting, I was determined to give it my all.

This is me putting family above everything else – which was the way I was raised (the way she has led our family), and I will never regret this decision.  This woman has been one of my strongest role models and most ardent supporters for my entire life.

There will be other trips to Walt Disney World and other half-marathons. The medal will serve as a reminder of the time I put my family above everything else.

There is only one of her, and I want to spend as much time as possible before there is no more time.

A special thank you to my Mother, who if not for her support I never would have had the strength to run a half marathon, or give up this opportunity to run a half marathon. Your neverending love for me and immediate support for my decision means the world.  I am lucky to call you my Mom.

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49 responses to “Tough Decisions

  1. Take care, you;ve made the right decision. There will be plenty more half marathons and runs you can do.

  2. Family is first above all else. Go. Be with her. Thinking of you…

    • Thank you. I agree. Family is the most important. I will be with her as soon as I can (weather and cost and airlines permitting). I appreciate the thoughts more than you know.

  3. Good for you! It is a tough decision in the best of times to get through cancellations and fears but much harder with something so emotional going on. You’ll be in my prayers

    • Thanks you so much for reading and commenting — I honestly was struggling to make sure that I was cancelling for the right reasons. It turns out I was definitely making the right decision. Your prayers are most appreciated. Thank you.

  4. Absolutely the right decision. Thinking of you Amalia; what a difficult time. Much love, always xxx

  5. You made the absolute unquestionably right decision. My heart breaks for you with the loss of such an amazing and wonderful person. The gifts she gave you will be the ones you pass to your children as you honor her life in yours. I am keeping her, as well as you and your family in my prayers, thoughts and my heart as you go down this difficult road. There will always be other races!

    • Your comment is incredible. I love you for stopping and reading and writing. I am determined to make the most of the time I have left. I have a book called “Grandma, tell me your memories” and there are a few questions left. I will fill it out and memorialize her in the best way I can. I appreciate the prayers and thoughts and I’m so grateful for you and them.

  6. Often the most difficult decisions are the ones that matter the most. You will never regret making this one.

    • Your comment is so succint and poignant and struck a real chord with me. You are a very wise woman, thank you for stopping by and commenting. I am so determined to live a life of no regret and I believe that you are right. This is a decision I will never regret.

  7. I’m so sorry about your news and situation,but you’re making the right decision and there’s always next year or other races! Family is most important!

  8. Good for you girl! You are making the right decision…there are always Disney races but family time is much more important. Hugs!

    • Thanks Mindy. The hugs are most appreciated, as is your comment — I am so glad everyone overwhelmingly supports my decision. I would have made it anyways but you guys are making it easier, which I’m so grateful for.

  9. I’m so sorry, this is such a tough decision. I think you made the right decision, and there will be plenty of other runDisney races

  10. That is so tough but I think you made the right decision (which is even tough for me to say as a Disney freak and Disney travel agent!) I am sure you will cherish the time with her forever!

    • I am grateful for your comment, and especially since it comes from someone with so much love for Disney. If you have any cancellation advice I will gladly accept it. I too am a true Disney lover, but Disney World and Land will be there whether or not I am. I look forward to the run in the future.

  11. Definitely the right decision. Family is so important. There will be other half marathons and Disney races. Hugs to you!

  12. Races come and go but time spent with your family is so precious. I’m so sorry that you had to make this decision and I pray for peace for your entire family during this time.

    • Gina I am so appreciative of your prayers. Tough decisions have to be made but in the end I truly believe they only make us stronger humans and therefore more capable of helping others.

  13. Family is so important—it sounds like you are making the best decision you could. There will be plenty of other races–at Disney and everywhere else that you can focus on when you are ready.

    • Elena, thank you for your comments. It was such a hard decision to make but I feel like I am at peace with it. There was no internal conflict after the decision was made. That is always the sign of a good choice.

  14. Peace for you and all your family, sweet runner. All the races in all the places await your return, as you know. Love comes first, always.

  15. You have made the right decision. Disney is not going anywhere. Give all your love and presence to your loved ones now and run in their honor later.

    • Thank you so much for your comments. It means the world to know I’m supported. And such a good idea. I can pretty much guarantee there will be a run for her in my future.

  16. Just sign up for the Vancouver scotiabank half marathon this summer.. It’s an amazing run, you’ll love it 🙂
    Xo

  17. Take care dear.. ❤ thoughts are with you

  18. Amalia, you did the right thing. 🙂 Enjoy your time with her. ❤

    • Thanks Erin. I’m so sad we won’t get to hang out. It saddens me! I was really looking forward to Universal. But there will be other meet-ups and other Universal gatherings. Maybe I’ll just come to Florida for a break and a visit one day. Thanks for everything!

  19. You have made the right decision, cherish your time with her 🙂

  20. I popped by from Run with Kate. I am so so sorry about your grandmother, I lost mine earlier this year and she too was an incredible special woman who immigrated and made a life for her children. Thinking of you at this hard time, you definitely made the right decision.

    • Hi Robyn! Thanks for stopping by. I am sorry it was to such a sombre post, you should come by to see some other things as well :). Your support is so welcome. They really are incredible women aren’t they? I hope I’m one tenth the person she was one day.

  21. I’m so sorry to hear about your grandmother. I think you’ve definitely made the right decision. I know I would have made the same decision.

    • Thanks. I really appreciate the comment and support. It’s definitely hard, but I’m just trying to get home to see her. It’s become so clear the last few days this was overwhelmingly the right decision.

  22. That certainly sounds like the right decision to make, but most certainly a difficult time for you. As the others have said, there will always be another race.

    • Yeah, it’s been tough. The worst part was actually cancelling Disney. What a nightmare! The lady I got to talk to was so lovely, but the process to get to her was trying. Thank you for your support. It means so much.

  23. You absolutely made the right decision, Amalia. I am so sorry for you at this difficult time, but think of your happiest memories with your grandmother to get you through. Grandparents are an absolute gift!

  24. Jesica @rUnladylike

    I am so, so sorry to hear all that you are going through! I will be thinking about you and praying for your strength and peace. There will be another half marathon. 🙂 xo

    • Thanks Jesica. I appreciate it so much. There will be many more I’m sure in the future – and this just is definitely the right decision for me. Thank you for your comment and especially for your prayers.

  25. Amalia!! You are such an inspiration. Tough decisions are the absolute.. well, toughest. In the midst of the situation, I am happy that you KNOW you are making the right decision. Half marathons come and go, but the love of loved ones is forever and eternal. You are in my thoughts and prayers. xoxo

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