I have something to tell you all.
And its difficult.
I’m usually very light-hearted and humorous here and even when times are tough I throw a smile on my face and draw a funny picture in Paint that is horrendously bad. But I never want to LIE to you. That’s just not what I’m about, and its certainly not what this blog is about. And its definitely not the message I want Live, Travel, Eat and Run to be or become. So forgive me for the sombre note today’s post will strike.
I am not going to be running the WDW Half-Marathon, because I won’t be in Florida.
It took me a whole week to think about this. Fighting the cancellation deadline given by airlines and Walt Disney and trying to figure out costs was one challenge. The other was making sure I was cancelling the trip for the right reason.
One of my family members, the one who I hold most dear to my heart (second only to my Mother), is terminally ill. She has been moved to palliative (or end-of-life) care and has told me three times now she is trying only to live until I get home on January 2nd. She is fighting to hold on to be able to spend one more day with me.
She is ready to move on.
We have a special bond, this family member and I. She is a strong, independent, impenetrable force of nature. She moved her family from Revolutionary Hungary during a time of war at my age (25) with three children under the age of 5, in search of a better life.
Then she provided that life. For her son (my Father) and daughters, and then consequently for myself, my brother, and my cousin. She worked multiple jobs, learned a new language, and brought up amazing children who I am now lucky to call my Aunts and Father.
I want as much time with her as I can get. Being that I live a 5 hour flight away, and speaking on the phone is hard for her, this is way more difficult than it seems.
When I took the half marathon out of the picture, and thought only about one of the relationships I value the most in the world versus a trip to Walt Disney, it was no contest.
You see, I wanted to make sure I wasn’t giving up on the half-marathon. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t giving up on myself. Because I’ve done that before. I needed to take five days to really think about whether or not I’m not going for the right reasons.
In the end, I’ve made my decision, and I’m proud of the person I am. This is not a matter of bad training or quitting, I was determined to give it my all.
This is me putting family above everything else – which was the way I was raised (the way she has led our family), and I will never regret this decision. This woman has been one of my strongest role models and most ardent supporters for my entire life.
There will be other trips to Walt Disney World and other half-marathons. The medal will serve as a reminder of the time I put my family above everything else.
There is only one of her, and I want to spend as much time as possible before there is no more time.
A special thank you to my Mother, who if not for her support I never would have had the strength to run a half marathon, or give up this opportunity to run a half marathon. Your neverending love for me and immediate support for my decision means the world. I am lucky to call you my Mom.